I remember reading this thought provoking quote many years ago, when I was a young mom: “Why do we try to make our kids feel bad in order to get them to be good?” Manipulation based on fear? A way to shame them? Will shaming, or even a swat on the backside, create a lasting impression? It might. And it might not be a lasting impression for good. What about showing my child admiration as I catch him or her doing something right? What behavior might that bring?
If you are a mom, maybe you feel some shame about how you’ve tried to make your kid be good. We default to certain behaviors in desperation, perhaps, and fear almost certainly. We live in a culture of fear.
There’s this struggle of good and bad. How to get more of the former and less of the latter. I see this, too, in the behavior of church-going folks. There seems to be this idea that humility is rooted in self-flagellation: “I am humble if I admit to my weakness and sinfulness.” If I hold onto that, and remind myself of it daily, then surely I am on the road to holiness. I am humble for how unworthy I am. I fear seeing myself any other way.
Why must we think ourselves bad in order to be good?
True humility does not lie in seeing myself as lowly. True humility allows me to take my talents and gifts into the world. I allow my light to come out from under the bushel basket. I bring it forth. I let it shine brightly. How is this humility? It is in realizing that the light is pure gift from above – from God, the Source, the universe – or from the burning lamp within the heart. What’s more, true humility allows me to see that same light in you, my neighbors, our politicians…..and in all creation. True humility celebrates this light with gratitude and joy. True gift, full of abundance.
What will I do differently today with this awareness?
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